The Bogeywoman's Cave

What if D&D was a ridiculously over-the-top action movie/video game? This hack/setting is basically a dumb experiment with that concept. Don't take this setting seriously, its not meant to be genuinely interesting or deep or anything, play up the ridiculousness and absurdity. Everything should be as over-the-top and gonzo as possible. The action genre is silly. The world as we knew it ended a couple decades ago. Nobody knows for sure what happened, everything was so fast. Now blood-soaked demons, cannibalistic mutants, berserk robots, and merciless aliens prowl the landscape, haunting the ruins of humanity's own hubris. This is Hell on Earth, and you're damned. But there is a glimmer of hope. There are rumors of a machine that can end you back to the past, to stop the apocalypse before it happened, but the road to this device is long and dangerous. To reach the time machine and save humanity, you must cross the REALMS OF GIBBITUDE!!! (From Pinterest, let me know ...

I don't really like how traditional D&D dragons work. They don't seem to give off a coherent feeling to me, they don't seem to have a proper soul if you will. This could just be me, but they just feel so boring. Maybe its the huge number of kinds of dragons that exist that makes them so boring to me, or maybe its the fact that they have a high level of intelligence and then do basically nothing but lie around in caves all day or eat a few peasants. It just doesn't sit quite well with me. When I think of my idealized dragon, these are kind of what they look like; (From Dragonslayer) (These two are unknown sources, please let me know if you know who the artists are so I can credit them) I don't like the more mystical side of dragons, with spell-casting and shape shifting and magic and stuff like that. When a dragon is around things should be messed up. Its not natural at all, it destroys entire ecosystems and razes villages to the ground, and it doe...

Beholders suck, they're stupid, this is dumb. Look at this stat block, just look at it. There isn't a proper, easy to roll hit dice number, they give you  range of 45-75. How the hell am I supposed to generate that?? 44+1d30?? And the armor class, this is just ridiculous, it has 3 different ACs. Judging by the description, you have to roll percentile dice to determine where you hit it before you can roll to attack just so you can figure out what armor class you're rolling against. And how does it attack? Well it has a bite attack for 2d4 damage, and generally then you have to roll 1d4 to determine how many magical attacks it gets, through which it is implied you have to roll a d10 that many times to determine what different magical attacks it uses. Oh, and also it has an anti-magic ray, because screw you if you're a magic-user and you wanted to have a fun time. Also I'm just realizing you have to keep INDIVIDUAL TRACK OF ALL 10 EYE STALKS' HP???? OF WH...